Film Review: Tell Me Who I Am
Credit: Netflix
This autobiographical documentary of identical twins with a deep dark secret that had come between them which is finally revealed and alters their lives, their relationship with each other, and their own families raises and answers several gnarly questions about trauma, memory and openness. These dilemmas are present in all families to varying degrees. Secrets between parents, what they tell their children, what children actually know and discover and keep from their parents and siblings, mythologies created by family members for their own purposes. ‘Normal’ families are complicated. But identical twins add an extra dimension of unknowability on account of their profound emotional connectedness. This is a fascinating, insightful look at what it means to be identical twins.
Credit: Netflix
Alex and Marcus Lewis grew up privileged in a grand house outside of London, with a colorful, vivacious mother and a distant, mean-tempered, authoritarian father. At the age of eighteen Alex, injured in a terrible, near-fatal motorcycle accident was in a coma for three months. When he regained consciousness, he remembered nothing and knew nothing. The only person he recognized was Marcus. It fell to Marcus to reconstruct Alex’s entire life. Nothing jarred his memories. Not his home, his parents, his friends. Marcus took on the task of detail by detail recreating his past. On screen, the process unfolds with both brothers separately speaking directly into the camera eloquently describing what it was like from their own perspectives. Alex as the receiver, attempting to put the pieces together, fill in the blanks, and make sense of it. Marcus as the storyteller, the architect, and the interpreter, trying to give context to someone who is starting at zero. It is a touching testament to the patience and trust between the two.
Credit: Netflix
As time goes on and Alex bonds with his parents, who are eccentric in the extreme, and some questions he asks Marcus are too awkward to explain, so he begins to embellish to create a normal, happy family picture. We realize that Marcus has some deep resentments which he is unwilling to unload on Alex, who is blissfully unaware. It is only after both parents die that secrets and lies begin to be unearthed by the brothers who are tasked with disposing of the detritus of their lives. As Alex begins to question the inconsistencies, Marcus admits to some seriously disturbing truths about their past. But he refuses to go into detail. This causes a lengthy and painful rift between them. Alex is devastated, confused and angry. Marcus is wracked with guilt, but unable to give Alex the full awfulness of what happened to them since he has repressed it for his own sanity.
When Marcus finally agrees to tell Alex exactly what they endured it is very hard to hear, but so very sensitively handled. It is an extremely painful exchange and Marcus’ anguished explanation of why he had spared Alex the knowledge is as noble as it was protective. The beauty of the exchange is that the barrier that had been erected between the brothers and now demolished provides the healing and the reconnection that is their salvation. The film is poignant, painful and finally redemptive.
