Written by: Jania Marissa

It’s Christmas Eve, and you are preparing to attend your first feast of the 7 fishes. You are nervous but excited to enjoy a gluttonous, loud and cheerful night hosted by the warmest Italians you have ever met. But don't know what to expect beyond the fact that pounds of food will be presented to you. I am here to help you, having attended this feast all my life, I can guide you through the night so that you know exactly what to expect even if there are fun surprises.

Phase 01: The Preparation

You are getting ready, what should you wear? The more important question is what not to wear? a) Sweats

b) Light Wash Jeans

c) Leggings as pants

Now that you look great, let's move onto what to bring to the feast. Never show up empty-handed to the feast, always bring something to share with you. Options are the following but not limited to:

a) Wine

b) Dessert

c) Appetizer

d) A present for the children

Special note*: Most be homemade, NOT store-bought :)

I typically opt for option B: “Dessert.” This way it is after you have eaten, so the bar is low. Lower than an appetizer (trust me).

Phase 02: The Entrance

When you walk into the home, the door will be unlocked. Therefore, announce your arrival as you open the door as loud as you can. Then you start the tour of hugs and kisses. Hug every member in the room with two kisses one on each cheek. Some members might be hiding or away. Find them quickly so the greeting phase can be completed. Then hand your dish to a child of the mother, not the mother. She will be in either the upstairs or downstairs kitchen preparing the feast.

Feel free to snack on the table of appetizers which is a long table covered in italian delicacies such as but not limited too: artichokes, shellfish (typically this will be shrimp and calamari of course), some fruit, and finger food like stuffed mushrooms and maybe some veggies prepared in a fancy way. Now is the time to grab a drink. Once you sit down for dinner, it will be hard to get up. So while you're up now, hunt down a drink, which will be located in the upstairs kitchen on a table by the refrigerator.

Phase 03 : The Feast

Find your seat! Dinner is ready. Seating is mostly a free-for-all but there is some ritualistic order to things…let the head of the house be at the top of the table whilst the family units all sit together in brackets. For example, I always sit next to my mother at the dinner table who sits next to her best friend who sits next to her husband who then sits across from their two children. The fishes will come out one by one, so make sure to save room so that you can enjoy each one. The feast includes these fish (usually) :

1. Cod

2. Clams

3. Eel

4. Calamari

5. Shrimp

6. Mussels

7. Scungilli

Phase 04: The Dessert + Nightcap

Now that your tummy is full and you are feeling sleepy, the best way to end the night is with dessert, espresso and some wine, along with conversation and communion. This is my personal favorite part of the night. The formality of the dinner seating breaks off into smaller mixed groups depending on what you want to talk about: society, sports, life and the classic “how's school going,” which is what I get asked most of the time. This is the period to share, take pictures, enjoy your time since it is coming to an end. Cheers together with espresso and dip your biscotti into your mug. I like to see the reactions of the cookies my mom and I made for everyone (positive reception as always of course)

Phase 05: The Departure

The beautiful thing about these feasts is you're welcome to come and you're welcome to go, the warmth of the home is never lacking. You can stay as long as you like but once you see yawns that is usually the signal— if you aren't yawning yourself already— to make your exit. *important*. You exit as you enter: hug and two kisses, with a thank you to the hosts and a goodbye to the members of the home.

You can now drift off into sleep, ready for the joy of Christmas morning. That is, until next year when you can read this again to prepare for the feast of the seven fish on Christmas eve.

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